Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Picture Perfect

Most of us live out of the story books that we read and the pictures that we see. Different people have different influences in their life. Some are inspired by action, the adrenalin rush; some by the serious issues that plague the society that we live in and there are some that live in a completely different world, a dream world made of sweet little things that could perhaps only be read or seen in a movie. Yet we dream and very much long for these wonderful things to happen to us; hoping that there would perhaps be a day when this dream would become a reality. We usually prefer keeping to ourselves when it comes to this not so important dream world of ours; perhaps taking into account the seriousness of various other important issues around us. Well, I don’t know about billions of people around me but I sure can vouch for this dream world of mine.

I have had strings of sour relationships that I have given a hint about in my past few posts. So as they say that every cloud has a silver lining; I have frantically searched for that silver lining in all these heart wrenching breakups of mine…. And what’s the silver lining that Mr. Wise Guy found for himself. Amongst a host of other things, one thing that I have realized is that I or rather we don’t need the company of someone, especially someone from the opposite sex, to be complete. This has been printed over and over again in my head with acute self-realization and also because of helpful discussions with similar friends in more or less similar situation. So I reiterate this to me every day and every time there’s a steamy discussion about relationships, I try and maintain the status quo. But to my dismay, every time I come across one of those amazingly romantic movies on television or a similar book, I feel as if I am back to square one.

It’s a Sunday today, a day when I prefer getting up late as there is no clichéd life waiting for me- Apropos, which I simply abhor. So what are you supposed to do on a Sunday? Well if it’s me, then on Sunday’s I get up late as I mentioned earlier, have a cup of tea with a serious round of newspaper reading- an everyday habit by now. Then it’s the usual like breakfast and a bit of bumming around in the house. Now, after that comes the real Sunday for me, which is lazing around in my pajamas all day long either watching a movie or reading a book or doing both alternately or maybe just maybe if something ironical happens then doing some other stuff, other than the two mentioned above.

I watched one of those amazingly romantic movies on television today, the one that has probably been shown like a gazillion times maybe, called “You’ve Got Mail”. A nice romantic movie which is about two people, a guy and a girl, who virtually hate each other because of business rivalry finally ending up loving one another. Bam, there it hits me again as I watch this movie. Boy isn’t it the same old feeling? The feeling of once again wanting to fall in love with someone. Someone who could perhaps understand me and all my small/big problems. Someone who could be there for me and just hold my hands and look at me with a lot of love. Not for the sake of solving my problems or for the sake of helping me out but for the sake of simply being there for me and listening to all that I have to say and all that I have to share- Of course the same being true vice versa also. People often tell me that one should never show ones true feelings to anyone and rather be diplomatic about such things. I wonder if I should actually be doing that.

I once had a dream. In this dream I saw one perfect spring morning. It was a bright sunny day with trees blooming and an open field with lovely yellow dandelions, spread over a vast area. There was a placid blue lake with water glistering under the sun. I was there with this perfect girl who was sitting with my head in her lap and her beautiful long hair on my face.

Like hell I should be hiding my feelings. I know this perfect girl, the girl in my dream, is waiting for me somewhere out there. So, I guess it’s just a matter of time before I find my picture perfect, in reality. Till then I guess I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed and waiting for her to come into my life.

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