Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Lost in Translation....

All of us have a dream. We dream to aspire, to happiness and to various things- seeking out, venturing to turn it into reality. Dreams, I believe, are quite essential as they invoke a thought in us which takes shape when succeeded by proper action.

Bagger Vance: There's a perfect shot trying to find every one of us. All we got to do is get ourselves out of its way... ...and let it choose us.

And so it has almost been a year now that I had one of those dreams which made me venture out and look for my perfect shot, which I hadn’t even known to be perfect for me. When people seek out to pursue a dream they either find themselves on their way or digress and lose themselves, which I was made aware of this past weekend. I was told by an ally, who has known me closely for quite a few years, that somewhere over this period I have changed a lot- especially from being an optimist to a pessimist. Change is an eminent part of life; but for a guy whose survival so far has been fuelled by optimism, to switch to an opposite mode is unhealthy and dangerous. More over I have always believed and have reasons to do so, that optimism is a great trait and helps one in numerous ways over many a quandary. The truth is that I don’t know if I really have switched to that gear but change there has been. In the translation of my dream into reality, it seems, I’ve lost some part of me.

Affably I listened to my benefactor who told me to let go of certain things from my past which I had been clinging on to like my dear life. I zealously avowed to do so, as was expected of me and thus the chapter was closed. I would like to narrate my dream before I wind up…

…I dreamt of a clear moon lit night. I was standing in front of a lake and in it I saw a beautiful reflection: of felicity, of beatitude, of love and of life. I lunged to catch it, but it moved as much away from me as I moved towards it. And there I was chasing an image on water. Beautiful as it might be but the fact remains that it’s still what we call a fata morgana.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Pain

The sun is below the horizon, it’s beautiful red light being refracted from the earth’s atmosphere as it is about to rise. Its early morning and a new day is about to begin. Looking at the twilight I wonder whether it finally ends today. Days of waiting have been converted to weeks and weeks to months but I still feel the pain inside me. I wonder if I will ever see the end of this pain, which has been there for such a long time now.

I’m tired of this wait and the sleepless nights. I wish I could do something to take all this pain and all this hurt away. It seems as though it’s my skin and I have been asked to live with it; as with it comes my redemption. I wish I could walk away from everything and go off to a distant place where I don’t know anyone. I wish I could turn my back to everyone I know and simply fade into nowhere. How I wish I could just walk away from everything and everyone in my life. It is perhaps then that I might find some peace. It is perhaps then that my pain would end.

Who knows I just might.