All of my days

I have been standing at the window and looking outside as the bright light of the day keeps turning into the darkness of the night. I have been looking out at the life passing by. It keeps going without any regret, without any remorse. Not stopping for anyone or even relenting for a moment. Then why is it that my days are filled with a lot of emptiness and longing.

All i hear is to let go of you and to move on. Why then, do i keep hanging to that little thread of hope. That thin string of hope which is more of darkness, than the brightest of summer days. Why do i not let go and move on along with life when it is all so easy to let go. Why is it that my heart urges me to hold on to you a moment longer. That beyond this small passage of time life will take a turn. That you will be there and all the darkness around me will no longer exist. That there are, and will be happy endings in this life! That you will look into my eyes and just hold my hands to tell me that, Yes, i was right!

That maybe my heart will once again see the flowers blossoming in the bright sunshine of a fine spring morning. The mornings will no longer be shaded with rain, and the fog will clear from the horizon, and the sun will once again shine yellow and bright. When breathing in that cold thick air won’t be as difficult as it seems to be right now. That when you smile at me, it longer will be days of penitence.

That all my looking anxiously outside during the days and the nights, and that my constant turning away from the crowd, and my looking lost at the door will be like finding you there standing. And even this meaningless life will have a certain meaning to it.

But till then, it’s just the days that keep turning into night....