The Longing Inside

And so the year 2010 ended. And it did indeed end with a concoction of weddings, celebrations, good fortune (for one and many), parties, cheer, glee, smiles and a bucketful of happiness for not only just me but also a lot of other people.

Considering how terrible 2009 had been for me, i remember to have had taken a vow of turning a new leaf, at the end of that particular year. And with it i had thus turned the corner into 2010 with lots of expectations from self. Which, to be honest, has been realised to quite some extent, if not all. I had been happy, cheery and less of a cynic in the past year, as compared to the one before.

Yesteryear, for me, closed on a fairly good note but then again i feel that it somehow somewhere left me unfulfilled. I say so because i remember the instance of standing outside in the dead of the night, away from the crowd; looking up at the darkness of the sky. It was then that i saw a shooting star and out of a sudden impulse closed my eyes to wish for something. Something like a bit of warmth in the cold of the night: the warmth of the heart which brings forth the glee from inside on to the face. The warmth of happiness and indulgence, of satiation and surfeit, the warmth of the heart that brings a smile on that beautiful face.....

....I found the warmth, like how Browning says in Meeting at Night....

The grey sea and the long black land;
And the yellow half-moon large and low;
And the startled little waves that leap
In fiery ringlets from their sleep,
As I gain the cove with pushing prow,
And quench its speed i' the slushy sand.

Then a mile of warm sea-scented beach;
Three fields to cross till a farm appears;
A tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch
And blue spurt of a lighted match,
And a voice less loud, through its joys and fears,
Than the two hearts beating each to each!

….But with a longing left inside!