Sunday, December 6, 2009

Of world and worldly affairs

A close friend of mine died some time ago of cancer. The night I heard the news of his death I thought about a lot of things and about all those times that we spent together. It was as if all of it kept flashing in front of my eyes, especially the part when he told me about this girl that he had met nearly a year back and about his aspirations to tie the knot of maternal bliss with her and furthermore about his flourishing career. He envisaged the happiness to come in his life in near future and painted a beautiful picture of life, love, health and happiness. It was like a canvass full of bright and exuberant colours that takes a serene and a tranquil mind to create; a portrait portraying a perfect life set in a perfect background. Except that the shades used eventually turned out to be darker, than what the artist actually wanted to portray.

In the span of an years time his entire aspirations turned to dust with nothing remaining, apart from mere memories and a sense of loss. When I met him a year ago, he seemed to me like a man of purpose working towards a lot of fine things in life. Things like a budding career, a sound financial situation and a respectable social status. I met him again a few months back when he was undergoing treatment for his ailments and he yet again came across as a man of purpose. The purpose though this time seemed to be entirely different as compared to the previous occasion. This time round the purpose was to just try and live some more beyond the minimal window that one has in grave medical conditions like these.

It thus occurred to me how ones priorities and outlook towards life changes when one is about to traverse from the final destination towards the dissolution. The fact that we waste our time and our lives over things that are simply incandescent is something which is worth observing. Why is it that most of us realize the importance of our short-lived life mostly at the end of it or otherwise at the precipice. What thus results is just a sense of deep loss and longing to perhaps take another shot at what that is already lost.

I have never feared living like a common man but have always feared dying like one. So what is it that I want to see as a remnant and a vestige of my life, at the end of it all?.... It should be like perched on top of a mountain, looking at the crimson sun setting on the western horizon- The end to a beautiful and bright day full of essentials like a green earth, a whispering evening-wind with music in the trees and the song of the birds. So that the last thing that I say before I die would be “I’m looking at an incredible view right now”.

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